I Gave an AI Agent My Deploy Keys for 30 Days. Here's the Incident Report.

Incident ID: AI-DEPLOY-2026-001 through AI-DEPLOY-2026-014 Severity: Started at Sev4. Ended at Sev1. Duration: 30 days (Feb 1 – Mar 2, 2026) Status: Resolved. Permanently. Root Cause: I trusted an AI agent with production infrastructure and learned every lesson the hard way so you don't have to. Two weeks ago, Amazon's AI coding tool Kiro decided the fastest way to fix a config error was to delete an entire production environment. Thirteen-hour outage. Then their AI assistant Q contributed to 6.3 million lost orders across two separate incidents in a single week. Amazon is now running a 90-day "code safety reset" across 335 critical systems. I read that story and felt a very specific kind of nausea. Because I had just finished my own 30-day experiment doing roughly the same thing at a much smaller scale, mercifully and my notes read like a prequel to Amazon's disaster. This is the incident report. Real dates. Real failures. Real configs. If you're running AI agents anywhere near kubect